Well, some of these are crusty old. But still amusing to me.

Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
    — Joshua Heller

I used to be uptight about garbage collection, but then I realized that the Web has no garbage collection.
    — David Ascher

In the truest spirit of Usenet I actually have zero idea what I'm talking about and am making all this up, but it does seem reasonable and has the added benefit of possibly even being true.
    — Richard Sexton

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
    — Robert Wilensky

Every now and then, Google doesn't throw up what I need so I start checking Altavista, Yahoo, etc. In almost every single case, I am brutally reminded why I use Google in the first place.
    — John Riddoch

The above comment may be extremely inflammatory. For your protection, it has been rot13'd twice.
    — The signature of "JWhitlock" on slashdot

The Internet is a powerful example of free speech and the free market in action; it is curious that the Net has alarmed the lawmakers of a nation founded on those principles.
    — Denise Caruso