It's easy to win forgiveness for being wrong; being right is what gets you into real trouble.
— Bjarne Stroustrup
The mighty oak was once a small nut who stood his ground.
The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
— fortune cookie
The difference between theory and reality is this: in theory, there is no difference.
Dealing with failure is easy: Work hard to improve. Success is also easy to handle: You've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.
— Alan Perlis
Just because people tell you it can't be done, that doesn't necessarily mean that it can't be done. It just means that they can't do it.
— Anders Hejlsberg
I am not young enough to know everything.
— Oscar Wilde
There are three things in life people like to stare at: a flowing stream, a crackling fire, and a Zamboni clearing the ice.
— Charlie Brown
There are three stages to a manís life. 1. He laughs at Clark Griswold. 2. He sympathizes deeply with Clark Griswold. 3. He laughs at Clark Griswold.
— James Lileks
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
— Mark Twain
We shall not grow wiser before we learn that much that we have done was very foolish.
— F. A. Hayek
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
— George Santayana
Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are the most active.
— Leonardo da Vinci
My first language is "Spelling Error."
When Iím riding my motorcycle, Iím glad to be alive. When I stop riding my motorcycle, Iím glad to be alive.
— Neal Peart
Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.
— Alton Brown
There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
— Mark Twain
If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if an hour, I am ready now.
— Woodrow Wilson
I have made this letter longer than usual, because I lack the time to make it short.
— Blaise Pascal
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
— Principal, in Billy Madison
To save mileage, park it. You got a Hemi son, use it.
[Found on a Dodge forum, shortly after I bought my Ram 2500 Hemi!]
A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
[The first known exposition of the fallacy fallacy]
— St. Augustine
His power lies apparently in his ability to choose incompetent enemies.
— Crow, from MST
I guess one person can make a difference. But most of the time, they probably shouldn't.
— Marge Simpson
Knowledge is of two kinds: there is knowing a thing, and there is knowing where we may find information upon it.
— Samuel Johnson
I keep a "hate mail" folder of the real gems, to review when my opinion of the human race looks to be in danger of rising above 0 degrees.
— John Derbyshire
Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.
— Benjamin Franklin
When I hear another express an opinion which is not mine, I say to myself, he has a right to his opinion, as I to mine; why should I question it? His error does me no injury, and shall I become a Don Quixote, to bring all men by force of argument to one opinion?
— Thomas Jefferson
The "of course, while I have no problem with this at all, it's surely too much for a lesser being" flavor of argument always rings hollow to me.
— Tim Peters
I have long since given up dealing with people who hold idiotic opinions as if they had arrived at them through thinking about them.
— Erik Naggum (comp.lang.lisp)
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
— RFC 1925
I never understood people who don't have bookshelves.
— George Plimpton
All bad jazz sounds like Woody Woodpecker.
— Leo Kottke
Good judgment is the result of experience ... Experience is the result of bad judgment.
— Fred Brooks
I'm not young enough to know everything.
— Robert Benchley
Get your facts first, and then you can distort 'em as much as you please.
— Samuel Clemens
No matter how cynical I get, I just can't keep up.
— Nora Ephron
There's no sense being exact about something if you don't even know what you're talking about.
— John von Nuemann
You owe The Oracle a TV with an 'intelligence' control - I've tried 'brightness' but that didn't work.
— Internet Oracularity #1192-01