It's easy to win forgiveness for being wrong; being right is what gets you into real trouble.
    — Bjarne Stroustrup

The mighty oak was once a small nut who stood his ground.
    — common

The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
    — fortune cookie

The difference between theory and reality is this: in theory, there is no difference.

Dealing with failure is easy: Work hard to improve. Success is also easy to handle: You've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.
    — Alan Perlis

Just because people tell you it can't be done, that doesn't necessarily mean that it can't be done. It just means that they can't do it.
    — Anders Hejlsberg

I am not young enough to know everything.
    — Oscar Wilde

There are three things in life people like to stare at: a flowing stream, a crackling fire, and a Zamboni clearing the ice.
    — Charlie Brown

There are three stages to a manís life. 1. He laughs at Clark Griswold. 2. He sympathizes deeply with Clark Griswold. 3. He laughs at Clark Griswold.
    — James Lileks

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
    — Mark Twain

We shall not grow wiser before we learn that much that we have done was very foolish.
    — F. A. Hayek

Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
    — George Santayana

Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are the most active.
    — Leonardo da Vinci

My first language is "Spelling Error."
    — Ace

When Iím riding my motorcycle, Iím glad to be alive. When I stop riding my motorcycle, Iím glad to be alive.
    — Neal Peart

Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.
    — Alton Brown

There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
    — Mark Twain

If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if an hour, I am ready now.
    — Woodrow Wilson

I have made this letter longer than usual, because I lack the time to make it short.
    — Blaise Pascal

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
    — Principal, in Billy Madison

To save mileage, park it. You got a Hemi son, use it.
[Found on a Dodge forum, shortly after I bought my Ram 2500 Hemi!]
    — Vader

A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
[The first known exposition of the fallacy fallacy]
    — St. Augustine

His power lies apparently in his ability to choose incompetent enemies.
    — Crow, from MST

I guess one person can make a difference. But most of the time, they probably shouldn't.
    — Marge Simpson

Knowledge is of two kinds: there is knowing a thing, and there is knowing where we may find information upon it.
    — Samuel Johnson

I keep a "hate mail" folder of the real gems, to review when my opinion of the human race looks to be in danger of rising above 0 degrees.
    — John Derbyshire

Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.
    — Benjamin Franklin

When I hear another express an opinion which is not mine, I say to myself, he has a right to his opinion, as I to mine; why should I question it? His error does me no injury, and shall I become a Don Quixote, to bring all men by force of argument to one opinion?
    — Thomas Jefferson

The "of course, while I have no problem with this at all, it's surely too much for a lesser being" flavor of argument always rings hollow to me.
    — Tim Peters

I have long since given up dealing with people who hold idiotic opinions as if they had arrived at them through thinking about them.
    — Erik Naggum (comp.lang.lisp)

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
    — RFC 1925

I never understood people who don't have bookshelves.
    — George Plimpton

All bad jazz sounds like Woody Woodpecker.
    — Leo Kottke

Good judgment is the result of experience ... Experience is the result of bad judgment.
    — Fred Brooks

I'm not young enough to know everything.
    — Robert Benchley

Get your facts first, and then you can distort 'em as much as you please.
    — Samuel Clemens

No matter how cynical I get, I just can't keep up.
    — Nora Ephron

There's no sense being exact about something if you don't even know what you're talking about.
    — John von Nuemann

You owe The Oracle a TV with an 'intelligence' control - I've tried 'brightness' but that didn't work.
    — Internet Oracularity #1192-01