My collection of quotes ranges from silly to profound, and most everyone will find something to offend them.

What better way to start of a collection of quotes than with a few quotes:

A witty saying proves nothing.
— Voltaire

I have gathered a posie of other men's flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is my own.
    — Montaigne

Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
    — Simeon Strunsky

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
    — W. Somerset Maugham