The thing that haunts a guy is the stuff he wasn't ordered to do.
Take these three items, some WD-40, a vice grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone.
I've been called a lot of things, but never funny.
Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have !#*^%%@ with? That's me.
Get off my lawn!
Everybody blames the Lutherans.